Our minister of the river Ladon in Greece has reported that the river is running dry (of water). This happened when the tsunami disaster took place in Asia. This is much unexpected and we have found that in Ladonia we are not prepared for such things. Thus we need a Ministry of Danger and Unexpected Phenomenon (MODUP). We ask for volunteers, please write to the state secretary immediately if you are the right man and woman.

Lars.vilks@swipnet.se

Anyway, River Ladon is still not all dry says our Minister Vassilios from Greece: My Ministry is fully concerned about this matter asthe River and the Ministry is almost the same! Thereis no reason for such a ministry if Ladon does notexist...However, River Ladon still has enough water.. As thereare a lot of other springs and small rivers on its way.... I'll keep my sword ready!

The sword that was found in the river last year. Photo by Vassilios Roumeliotis.

Official report: The sources of river Ladon in Achaia run out of water,few hours after the devastating earthquake of Indonesia and, as it is natural, the residents and the local factors express their concern for the curious phenomenon.The historical river springs from a beautiful stream that is found in the region Likouria of the Municipality of Leykasiou in Achaia, covers a distanceof enough kilometres and is linked with Alfios, after first supplies with his waters one small hydroelectricdam in the limits of prefectures Ilia and Achaia. Astonished the farmers of region, saw that the sourcesof river were dry and fully concerned they called the Authorities. "It was indeed an incredible spectacle. The sources of Ladon did not drop water. They had run out of waterand a lot of fishes that lived in the river, had come out in the land and tried to find shelter in smalllakes that maintained still water. We do not know where this phenomenon is owed. However thedisappearance of water, if it is continued, is expected to cause serious problems in the cultures infuture. We ask from the authorities to give us an explanation ", says in the" E newspaper" the mayor ofLeukasiou. Even when the sources of Ladon began pouring microquantity of water from yesterday, theresidents of the region talk about "bad message of theriver" and they reveal that the sources of Ladon hadgone dry again in 1929 andin 1955 from earthquakesthat happened in the region.The old men connect the phenomenon with the mythologyand they say that Ladon, son of Ocean, left these days and went to help his father in the Indian Ocean, who passes difficult hours...

The proud piece of Omfalos was removed in 2001 from Ladonia. But its ghost keeps coming back. Will it ever come back? Ladonia need a movement for The Return of Omfalos.

The ghost of the lost Omfalos. Photo James Hartman.

The famous Munch painting The Cry has been stolen from the Munch Museum in Oslo. The photo certainly gives a clue to what might have happened. At least it seems suspicious as the state secretary of Ladonia is so close to the lost painting. Or is the state secretary also a picture? It seems at least that Munch's painting and the state secretary picture has the same state of mind. It is widely known that Munch's painting is about Angst. A new radical theory could explain the source of this Angst, it might come from sausage eating.

The state secretary with a sausage and Munch. Photo James Hartman.

It has been decided that Ladonia will celebrate a day of the Giant Cockroach. This is a subject for the ministry of mythological beasts, Lisa. Lisa and her husband Pete is known as the most dynamic couple in Ohio.

Let's declare a Giant Cockroach Day in Ladonia. What a good idea. I recall from my misspent youth many NYC summer nights observing similar creatures out on the streets of the city. They could feel the rumble of an approaching vehicle and would stop in the street until the car or bus went by before finally going across. In memory of those carefree summers, I suggest our GCD begin at sunset on August 6th - also the anniversary of the first atomic blast in Hiroshima, Japan. As we know, if our society ends in such a manner, cockroaches will likely mutate and survive. So, next August 6, raise a glass of whatever to toast the giant bugs and survivors in general!
--Lisa

One of the giant cockroaches climbing in Nimis. Photo James Hartman.

The Minister of Art & Jump has found a solution to the problem about the size of a lawn:

The perfect size of a lawn must be no bigger than your lawnmower... This way you can roll it out to your lawn, start the engine and push it forward about the length of the lawnmower and bingo. Your lawn is mowed! Perfect!

Minister of yellow snow, Per Cod give us this alarming report:

A Russian man had to be rescued after his penis stuck to a frozen bus shelter while he was urinating. The young man was on his way home from a bar in the southern city of Stavropol, in temperatures of -30C. He stopped to urinate, leaning against the bus shelter for support, but swayed at a crucial moment and his penis stuck to the frozen metal. The BBC reports the man was apparently taken by surprise by the cold temperatures, as Stavropol is normally one of the warmest Russian regions. A large crowd gathered, shouting advice. Finally passerby Valery Levchenko was able to free the man using a kettle of warm water borrowed from a chemist. The man reportedly refused further medical help before running off.

Ladonia will not invade Norway, nor declare war. But Norway will be connected with Ladonia in a Ladonian-Norwegian Freundschaft Union. Only two things are to be changed in Norway. The Norwegian Flag will be different and the Royal Guard will have green uniforms.

The Norwegian Royal Guard in their new uniforms. Photo James Hartman.

The new Norwegian flag. Photo James Hartman.

Sir Norbert, new minister of Ladonia has founded the Ladonia University. It will take place in bathrooms.

The work of creating the Ladonia University of Liberal Arts is done through an edit and replace of an old concept. Remember that Procrastination is the key to success...if you wait long enough, people tend to accept what you said because they remember it was said long ago and therefore has History behind it. The University Concept has a provision for experiential learning, which could be applied to past life regression therapy proofs of attainment. This concept applies to the "Audit" degree in which the only work done is the reading to demonstrate currency of knowledge. No coursework is undertaken because you already accomplished that in previous lives, via verification of Past Life through regression therapy. Everyone deserves accolades, kudos, and beer(and wine for the ladies or others with preference). Therefore, The University Concept fulfills one of Maslow's Hiearchy of Needs in that if you already have one (degree) you don't need another... unless you want it rather than need it. The University Concept covers both the real and animated aspects of education. The degree is not to be considered as a "Diploma Mill" as there is real work involved, however it can also be considered a degree of novelty as well. Classifications of Degrees: Honorary (Novelty) no transcript Audit (current readings to update internal knowledge) Audit transcript Earned (readings follow-up with essays and/or tests, or projects) University Transcript. Remember that only Bathroom Books are required reading, the main Bathroom series is the Great American Bathroom Book Vols I, II, and III. Other Bathroom books have been mentioned which can be supportive (minor areas of study, or electives). In reality, with proper guidance, an actual competent education can be gained by this method. It is both academic and whimsical. It is the learner that determines the path on how serious to take the activity. Again, this is not a Diploma Mill Concept. It is an actual earned diploma. Respectfully,
Norbert, Minister of Parallel Universe Tribal Serviecs

Norbert's Coat of Arms.

Bathrooms should and ought to be libraries as the most focused points of concentration occur there. The Bathroom Series is most appropriately applied within this setting. Therefore, a Certificate should be issued, certifying the Bathroom as an "official" room of study, perhaps a concentration hall (if the room is elongated like a hall to which I had one in Berlin, 6 by 14 ft). Therefore, I will design an appropriate Certification procedure to gain the approved sites accreditation as "Official adjuncts" of LULA (Ladonia University of Liberal Arts). However, there may be occasions that the Education Committee might stop by for a review of the facilities of educational empowerment. Henceforth, if the library is not adaquately stocked, you can loose your accredited status and have to submit a petition of protest with the official stationary provided at the site.

We have the new beer, to be served in Hartmanburg, just beside Nimis.

Folkets beer. Photo James Hartman.

The Royal Ladonian Coast Guard flying Wing is above ARX to insure the security of our remaining monuments.

Royal Ladonian Coast Guard. Photo James Hartman.

Minister Taru has investigated the mystery concerning the disappearance of our presidential candidate Phil the Rock. Phil actually won the election and should be the president of the US. But something has happened…

So I and my Ministry secretary Mussu are back from the dangerous undercover task to find out true details about the airplane accident said to have killed our presidential candidate Phil the Rock and his campaign manager Jack Grey. More than taking the credits for ourselves, we wish to thank the two arduous censors working under my ministry. Without hard work by Ants and Anty this case would never have been solved.

As I assumed last year, it was the conspiracy of aliens, Nazis, Jews, Communists, judges, and multinational companies, among others, that is responsible for the plane crash, not to forget the classical yellow peril. Our brave censors found out that aliens have abducted the president of the only remaining superpower on this earth and replaced him with a puppet. They have full backing of Jewish media moguls of the US, who promised to keep silent about any presidential candidate able to seriously challenge the incumbent presidential puppet (as we remember, Phil the Rock campaign was seriously undermined by media silence). Likewise, we are likely to meet all kinds of hindrances if we pursue the case in court. Multinationals financed the whole plot. And Commies and the yellow race provided the plan for exterminating Phil the Rock. This plan was tested in 1971, when the man assumed to be the heir of the great helmsman Mao Zedong, Lin Biao, died in plane crash when he was escaping from China (according to the official - somewhat questionable - version, he had attempted a coup against Mao and flew thereafter).

All this was laudably uncovered by our censors. I and Mussu, then, engaged in our undercover work in South America where we tracked an old Nazi criminal, whose plan was to promote statues of political leaders carved in racially superior white marble stone. His racial theories made him enraged when he found out that reddish Phil the Rock dares to strive for political leadership and thus he provided help for the anti-Phil conspiracy. We crisscrossed the continent from the Atlantic coast to Pacific Coast chasing him, and finally we caught him and delivered him to Simon Wiesenthal center. Therefore, he is likely to face a trial in Israel. By the way, censors have located some eye witnesses of the accident. They claim that they saw a rock and a man climbing up from under the airplane wreck. This suggests that we will indeed see the second part of the Phil the Rock Meets the Cyborgs. Get ready for the elections of Californian governor!

Taru
minister, MotAr

Mussu
general secretary, MoTaR

Anty
and
Ants
Censors

I hope you are well.

It has been some time since I have contacted you and because of the time gap I felt I should report to you and the nation regarding both the state and effectiveness of the Ministry for Apathetics. True to it's name and in keeping with the culture of the ministry, there has been no contact from any citizen and I therefore can categorically say that the ministry is 100% on target in continuing to further Apothetics within the citizenship of Ladonia.

However, I have to apologise, in that by concerning myself with sending you this report I am guilty of contravening the culture of the Ministry myself. An indiscretion I hope you will forgive.

May I wish yourself, my fellow nobles and the good citizens of Ladonia the greetings of the season and may Ladonia prosper in the new year.

Yours
Count Terencio De Dornsaetum,

Here is an interesting page with forbidden artworks:

http://www.artliberated.org/?p=cases&id=22

CONTACT INFORMATION

You can send us e-mail or use the address below.

Lars Vilks, Secretary of State of Ladonia

Lars Vilks
Box 1
S-260 43 Arild
Sweden

© Copyright 1996 - 2005 Lars Vilks and Aim.
Created: 2005-03-07