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Horatius is back and spitting!
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| STATE AFFAIRS | Ladonia is steadily growing in territory and population. Bit by bit we conquer the world. Maybe now with a missile. |
| POLITICS & CABINET | The return of Horatius causes mixed reactions. The new Minister of Sex is immedately whiplashed. Not in a long time have we seen so many emotions coming to life in the Cabinet! |
| NEWS & GOSSIP | Motorway in Höganäs. Uarda Academy visited Ladonia. Bumble bees in Arx. Regalia stolen. Among many other things. |
| NEW! ASK THE DOCTOR | The Minister of Health gives Ladonians specific and personal advice. |
| AT THE END OF THE DAY | The Minister of Health continues to share his gifts and open the doors of perception: Now with some highly elegant poetry. |
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ALSO IN THIS ISSUE OF THE HERALD: | |
| Managing Editor: Lars Vilks
Executive Editor: Vera Porad The editors are not responsible for unrequested material sent to Ladonia Herald. We reserve the right to edit any contribution, and we take no responsibility as for incorrect use of the language (except our own). For letters, graphic material, questions, feedback, texts etc please feel free to mail us. |
EDITORIAL So many interesting things going on in our country. To all citizens I ask the question: Should we buy a missile and thus get a doble advantage, frightening the Swedes and receiving a budget deficit (which is a status among all nations)? NEW LADONIAN TERRITORY Sweden is decreasing, Ladonia growing. On June 13th the top of a whitebeam tree was declared a Ladonian colony. This was arranged by the state secretary. The colony, named Whitebeam, is situated in the town of Hoganas in the south of Sweden. The border line can be found on the trunk and to enter the colony you'll have to climbed up into the tree. A picture of the colony can be found at www.hoganas.se/kultur/grans/index2.htm We have a comment from Lars Vipsjö, our minister of hunting: "Maybe we should send someone (do we have someone named Jack) up in the tree to look after that it is not already proclaimed by someone bigger than us. Or should we just shake it before climbing?" |
Our minister of sophistry, Horatius (http://www.bakpartiet.nu/aumm.htm) is back on the cabinet stage. Among others our president and custodian showed great enthusiasm for his return. Minister John Parman was as you can see regretting this return. He got an immediate reaction from Horatius:
The president is full of joy with the return of Horatius!!! Viva Horatius!! Long live Horatius!!!
John Parman
What's up, John (you diplomat you)? Did you get appointed chief of Ladonjugend after I left? Spirit of St. Horatius Horatius back means hard debate and in the discussion on our new minister of sexuality he continues his attack on Mr Parman in well-known style: "John Parman, writing from politically correct USA, makes the mistake (in my opinion) of confusing Consonance with Harmony. The former is saying nice things about each other, and, more important, NOT saying BAAAD things about each other, not "discriminating", not dividing. Harmony, however, is about dynamic relationships where both consonance and dissonance are needed. The first prelude in Bach's Wohltemperierte Clavier, a piece most would agree is deeply harmonic, is 35 bars long. 23 bars are dissonant. That's more than one half dissonance! A piece consisting of a string of perfect triads (treklanger) need not be harmonious, propably it is just BORING. So let's not be blind to the virtue of division, dissonance, even "segregation". An oyster, solitary and segregated in it's shell, irritated by a speck of dust or whatever, will in time bring forth a pearl, an object of harmony. Listen to Epictetus' words: Armonia aphanes phaneros kreisson. "Hidden Harmony is mightier than manifest harmony." So let's cut out this PC crap about agreeing in words, this "no division, segregation"-shit, this "one big happy family"-nonsense. Fuck family values and Netnanny. Vive la difference! Magnus Ask should definitely be Minister of Homo- and Bisexuals. >From that ministry the heteroladonians could possibly learn a thing or two about kinkyness, about having fun and enjoying life (something I have definitely seen more of among my homo-, bisexual friends), without forgetting that they, propably, in many ways, are different. The camp qualities (erroneously seen as strictly homosexual) that the Founder often demonstrates are sadly lacking among ministers. Or so it was before I left. How is it now? In conclusion: the choice between Minister of Sexuality ("Sexuality" sound like the Kinsey Report, just "Sex" is much more sexy) or Minister of Homo- and Bisexuals is a choice between Blandness or Disorder (hidden harmony). The latter choice would make life in Ladonia, in the words of Max Mathews, "more complicated and interesting". Spirit of St. Horatius Musica humana (extended musicality) State graphic, Vera Porad, comments that Horatius might be a little to eager in the debate: "Well, well, aren't we jumping to conclusions here? Or do you think that "niggers have the rhythm in their blood" too?" Also our eternal minister countess Madeleine found this a little too much and reacted: "Has the Spirit of St. Horatius lost his wonderful ability of oration and now he will be peppering his soliloquies with obscenities in lieu of expressing his thoughts with more descriptive words in his limitless vocabulary expected of a Minister of Sophistry? " Countess Madeleine, Ambassador, E. M. of FS & Tennis
After some debate (see above) Magnus Ask (former minister without portofolio) was appointed minister of sexuality. Our minister of accomodation, Thomas Diestel, has started up the work of our minister of sexuality by posing the question: Shall the balls be put in during an intercourse? And also giving the correct answer: Yes! (if there is room enough). Mr Diestel is also adding a more specific question to Sir Magnus: Dear Dr. af Ask; "Is it true that some women really enjoys a good spanking? In our culture it has been taught ever since sunday school, that "thou shall not beat thou neighbour", but lately in some magazines provocative women in leather or rubber (or both) spank eachother! Since the military training I keep a horse whip in my house, is it ok for me to use it on my wife and my daughters?" Thomas the doubter MINISTRY OF DOMESTICS The minister of domestics, Peter Pozsgai, has made this outcall for people to work with: "It was a little bit long time ago, when the cabinet voted for my idea to set up the Ministry of Domestic Organization. Since that as a new minister I've made a project which I hope will make Ladonia much stronger and and more famous country. Well, as it's a very large project, now I'm looking for people to work together." NEW MINISTER OF CASUALITY AND ACASUALITY Joshua Trevino has been appointed minister. He present himself: "My fellow Ladonians, I wish to present myself before you. I am Joshua Trevino, the newly-appointed Minister for Causality and Acausality. The State Secretary has graciously welcomed me into the Cabinet, and I thank him for his courtesy. My Ministry will concern itself with maintaining the normal causal flow of events within Ladonia. The Ministry will also be empowered to issue permits for acausal events upon request. While we have no regulation-book as yet, we are using Jung's "Synchronicity" as an ethical touchstone. At the request of the Cabinet, this Ministry may engineer a chain of causal events that will lead to an expansion of Ladonian territory. A military base in Louisiana was annexed and then returned to American control as an experiment earlier today. Long Live the Remoni!" Waaall J. Trevino, Minister of Causality and Acausality - And don't forget to visit our new minister at his amazing website: http://users.worldnetla.net/~trevino/index.html http://users.worldnetla.net/~trevino/trevino.htm IN THE PATHS OF DIANA - MINISTRY OF HUNTING Our ministers are constantly working hard. Just read this report from our minister of hunting: "Dear Ladonians, the summer is here, one huntingseason is over and we are looking forward to a new one. The list of game in Ladonia are increasing which shows that we are treating it right. This is happening at the same time as we are getting more hunters, there are now 45 diplomated hunters of Ladonia, following in the paths of the hunting godess Diana. All this together shows us that the hunting exam is working succesfully, and also that educated hunters takes their responsibility to nature. The 1st of august the Ministry of Hunting and Game Preservation moves temporarily to Torpa Stenhus, by the lake Åsunden close to Borås (in Sweden). There the minister will show images of species that you may or may not find in Ladonia, such as for example Hare and Moose. The visitors of the exhibition will also have the possibility to take the Ladonian hunting exam and get a diplome. For those of you who already have made the exam but not got any diplome, please just mail your adress to the minister and you will get one." Lars Vipsjö The Minister of Hunting and Game Preservation Non est inquirendum unde venit venison http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Lofts/8433/ministry.html NEW ETERNAL MINISTER Ladonia have now two eternal ministers: Countess Madeleine and the newcomer Birgitta Rudenius, eternal minister of all winds. You can make a blowing visit at her ministry at www.kastanjebacken.net/allwinds.htm The eternal ministers will be ministers till the end of time. MINISTER OFF TO WAR Jared Elgvin, our Minster of Live Roleplay is off to war. This is his dramatic good-byenote to the Cabinet:
alias : Baron Jared von Elgvin Minister of LRP. |
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ONLY THE "USELESS" A new model for highways has been introduced by the state secretary. His opinion is that highways should be shorter. You can find his highway at www.hoganas.se/kultur/grans/index2.htm It is 30 cm long. "If a highway is longer you will not be able to understand it", says the state secretary. LADONIAN LANGUAGE So far the Ladonian language has had only one word "Waaaall". Another one, related to the first has been introduced in an inspired moment by the minister of idleness, Lord Sig Whig: "Waaaaaaa--rp" We are not yet sure of its precise meaning. OMNIA VINCIT AMOR? State graphic Vera Porad has made the beautiful mirror that has been reflecting the sun in Ladonia. Placed at the top of Wotan's tower the reflection of the sun could be seen at certain places in our country. On the frame of the mirror the state graphic had inscribed the words "Omnia vincit amor" (Love overcomes everything). These words are the motto of our queen Ywonne I Jarl. On the 18th of June the mirror was suddenly gone. Quite a job to bring that souvenir down from its high position. THE UARDA SFINX The Uarda Academy has started the carving of a large sfinx monument in Ladonia. We are happy to show a picture of the sculptors working hard with the stone elevated at the Uarda Place.
BUMBLE-BEES IN BOOK Bumble-bees have been building a nest in Arx, the book and town in Ladonia. They have found a good place in chapter 2, a part of the book discussing the philosophy of the sublime. They have found their place at page 122. FLOWERS IN LADONIA New flowers have been planted in Ladonian soil. Citizen Susanne Högberg has donated the seeds: Helianthus Annuus, Speed Seed, Linum, Centaurea Cyanus, Antirrhinum, Calendula Officin, Phacelia Tanacetifolia, Aros, Papaver Rhoeas. MASKS FROM LORD NEMOLOM Innovative Lord Nemolom, member of the cabinet, has made some amazing masks. We recommend you to take a look at: http://members.tripod.com/~nemolom/ SMALL FROGS - A SWEDISH SONG A swedish custom of great importance to this people is singing and dancing the song of the small frogs. The Swedes are sitting on their heels, pointing at ears and nose and jumping forward while singing this song. Recently , at midsummer we have observed thousands and thousands of Swedes occupied with this ritual. |
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Many of our readers have expressed their wish to get more specific and personal advice from our Minister of Health, Dr Emanuel von Bock. The Minister is willing to generously share his wisdom, here we present some of the questions. Please, if in trouble or doubt, do not hesitate to ask the Great Doctor! The editors will forward your wonderings with highest discretion. 1) Dear Doctor, How do we know for sure? -- Abstain from alcohol 24 hours. Eat only light good quality food. Sit in lotus position facing mirror. Quieten mind until reflexion in mirror disappears. Then you are sure. Variation: Sit on a sea shore rock facing sunset. Half close eyes. Focus on breathing. As red disk lop-sidedly slides past edge of horizon, and all scenery around stills and holds its breath, as it were, in that very moment - if then you almost unnoticably tip over and calmly still observing lotus position fall into the cooling gently dancing waves, and thereafter begin to swim down under in that turquoise mysterious medium, you know for sure too. 2) Oh, revered Great Doctor, what shall I do with my Xxxx... ? - Very simple. First try one week special diet composed of (preferably East Ladonian) grains, the highest form of physical food known to man, and during that week ask a competent dowser deflect harmful bioenergy from your house. If no improvement, demand your money back from the dowser, and seek my personal advice (on appointment only) in the House of Health of Ladonia, unfortunately last winter washed out into the sea by a hurricane, so on the very site of of this formerly tangible house, now the Virtual House of Health of Ladonia - you will easily find a round flat mandala-like stone among the other chunky shore boulders. 3) Minister! What should I do with... ? - Send money and we provide healing energy along the famous Swedish psi-track (1994, professor Tellefsen et al; www.newphys.se/dowsing). 4) Doctor, I suffer from sex-addiction, what should I do? This is normal. Try Kundalini yoga. Engage with your inner seductress shakti godess on a blissful journey of one-ness to extatic unity with the very foundations and outermost fringes of our great universe. Methods for three-some relations (and more participants) also exist. Experiment. Eastern people are more civilized. |
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CUSTODIAN ON THE TABLE - A POEM Custodian Johan Andersson has composed the following poem:
on the table there is nothing a glass of red wine cast its sharp shadow
the muse sings to me no angels around
at midnight I raise a stick and point to the skies
then we ride the broken routes of the churchyard like some rollercoster
I make a note in my pad:
5/10.......who am I?
late afternoon at the local café:
a man pours the coffee as his friend, a stocky, sharp-eyed fellow of sublime perception, hastily draws his picture on the table-cloth.
Fernande make a note in my pad:
You are changing. Don't be...Be not! |
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EATING THE PEREGRINE FALCON THE RUSTIC WAY The minister of health has given us another possibility of cooking the falcon: 1-2 Pilgrim Falcons 10 large potatoes Sunflower oil salt pepper sallad Catch 1-2 falcons (On kullaberg, notfar from Ladoia current Pilgrim Falcon project, large area sealed off. Patrolled by guards. Suggestion: Locate guards, there are the falcons. Guards dress as fanatci environmentalists, all the right gear, should be easily spotted and deviated, or maybe ignored). Let hang 3 weeks. Plume falcons. Cut out good looking pieces. Fry in oil. Add cream if you like, make sauce, add salt, pepper. Meanwhile rinse potatoes. Don't peel them. Cut to chunky rods, fry in large iron pan, peels and smoke give name Devil's potatoes. Serve with sallad. For dessert we suggest a pancake: 8-10 Pilgrim Falcon eggs 1/2 cup wheat flour 1 cup milk 1/2 teaspoon salt Mix flour and 1/2 cup milk. Add eggs. Beat. Add rest of milk and salt. Fry medium heat. After taste, add cognac or the like. Enjoy with whipped cream and some sour wild berry jam. |
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Today, The Minister of Health who in this issue of the Herald has shown us glimpses of the grand spectra of his personality, attacks the most difficult of matters: Death - and life: The simplest goal a human being can set up for himself, Grigorei Ivanovitch Gurdjieff said (1949), is dying an honourable death. No other goal is possible before this goal has been ensured. For a man who is a man without quotation marks an honourable death is possible. "Men" (within quotation marks) perish like dogs. What is a man without quotation marks? It is a man who can do. Generally men are erraneously convinced they can do, but they cannot. Things happen, and they think it is their doing. Not so. Your hat blows off, you become irritated, you meet a beautiful woman (or handsome man), and you smile. These things happen. A publisher wants to make money, somebody has studied something God knows what, which has happened to become the sway of the day over peoples imagination, and the publisher asks this somebody to write a learned book on the subject, this all happens - people even hold the writer for a genious, but all is just as much an illusion as the plastic ducks in the artificial pond of a clever summer-garden-café-owner. In fact, this café-owner maybe knows something about the human psyche and also knows how to make a buck to support his family, he could have real values, and again, your quest for the truth about the universe cannot start from any level lower than his. Most learned treateses are written by lunatics, praised by other lunatics, admirers of lunatics and lunacy, and the admired paragon-lunatics then stand out as examples for the youth, the values of whom are hopelessly destroyed by the time they earn their diplomas of completed education, and have become thoroughly hypnotized to set up all kinds of great goals for themselves from levels of lunacy way below the level of the café-owner, with his plastic ducks in the artificial pond. What is this goal to die an honourable death? Such a death is possible only for him or her who during his or her life has laboured with and suffered for the realisation of his or her special gifts, with that what was given to him or to her and to no other man or woman in the same way, with the inner treasure. If you find where to look for this inner treasure, things begin to happen to you in a miraculous manner, there may become discernible a consistency between your inner aspirations and outer apparently God given chance events, which is known as the first seed of true power of will. And anyone who has finally aquired will, can do. As you now have browsed through this issue of The Herald, you can pose an essence of life question to yourself - what on these pages were haphazardly happening interactions and other events on a similar level, and how did you browse, can you remember exactly how and why you got here, will this moment make a difference in your life? At any rate, the Ministry of Health wishes you as well as all peoples of the world a beautiful summer! Dr. E. von Bock. Minister of Health |
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Vera Porad, Executive Editor
Lars Vilks, Secretary of State of Ladonia
Lars Vilks
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S-260 43 Arild
Sweden
© Copyright 1998 Lars Vilks and Arrive Inter Media
Created : 1998-06-26
