12th issue, November 1997
The Embassy is
no more.It has become a place beyond our dreams. It has gone to a nomad, mind-existance, a place where we, ladonians, may gather in joy, grief, in wonder, in pain. May the 13th October always remain Embassy-Day.
SEE ALSO: STATE AFFAIRS * POLITICS & CABINET * NEWS & GOSSIP *
* SUNDAY READING * POEMS & PROJECTS * THE END OF THE DAYManaging Editor: Lars Vilks Executive Editor: Vera Porad
The editors are not responsible for unrequested material sent to Ladonia Herald. We reserve the right to edit any contribution, and we take no responsibility as for incorrect use of the language (except our own). For letters, graphic material, questions, feedback, texts etc please feel free to mail us.
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CITIZENS Continually increasing, Ladonia has at the moment more than 2.800 citizens. Many of our citizens are living in Norway and Hungary. We give our newcomers from these countries a specially warm welcome. I must say that I am impressed by all creative material which has arrived with many of the Norwegians. Some of it is presented in this issue.
As probably most of you already know, Ladonia had an embassy in the town of Falkenberg at the swedish westcoast. The construction of wood was built by state secretary Lars Vilks. Falkenberg received us in a very positive way but wanted the embassy only for a limited time. As the community wanted to take the construction down (5 tons) it was sold to our minister of history count Torby. The community moved the piece (without saying anything to the owner) - a certain performance to watch. At the new place it stood for a short time before it fell in a storm. When the community tried to lift it it fell apart. The embassy was thus destroyed and lost for count Torby who had plans to move it to the other side of Sweden. Torby will now, backed up by our minister of justice, Krister Thelin, make claim for damage. A HYMN IN HONOUR OF LADONIA The world famous composer Ralph Lundsten has become a honourable citizen of Ladonia. He has dedicated a certain piece of music for Ladonia. The piece is to be found in the CD "In Time and Space" and is called "Song from Beyond". This was an initiative from the custodian office. |
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CONSTITUTION Ladonia has a constitution. The proposal by Lord Sig Whig (minister of idleness) and reworked in a few parts by state secretary Lars Vilks was accepted through a cabinet voting. Being a controversial subject the constitution was accepted with 7 votes pro, 5 contra and 2 abstain. This constitution (it has been presented in previous issues of Herald) is the first part of Ladonian constitution. The second part will probably be the stone book Arx in Ladonia as proposed by the queen Ywonne I Jarl. It seems to be a wise decision as Arx (with its 150 tons of massive weight) can answer most, maybe all questions asked. I give a few quotations from Arx: The hanging iron A. The pyramid from Egypt. The two golden rings. "Fedra" and "Parsek". The three kinds of teeth (man, animal, artificial) The glass horse. The pistol. The seven watches. MINISTER OF CHANCE PRESENTED Our minister of chance Svein Olav Nyberg is to be found in Edingburgh. He presents himself in this way: "The minister is working as a post-doctoral researcher in probability at the University of Edinburgh. He had a choice between several jobs and had to flip a coin to make up his mind to take on this one. The minister thinks throwing dice or flipping coins is an essential decision procedure, as all interesting things in life start by a chance happening. What is laid down, factual and planned is just a fabricated life." We can learn quite a few things about Max Stirner if we visit the homepage of the minister of chance. This philosopher, whose death was coursed by a sting from a winged insect, has still valuable things to tell us: "As a preface to The Ego and Its Own, Stirner wrote a short piece Ich hab' mein Sach' auf nichts gestellt (I have set my affair on nothing; usually translated "All things are nothing to me"). In this piece, he shows how the Sultan, God, the Good etc. are not serving anything beyond themselves, but rather have set themselves up as the highest good to serve. Stirner writes: "I for my part take a lesson from them, and propose, instead of further unselfishly serving those great egoists, rather to be the egoist myself." More to be found on Stirner: http://www.maths.ed.ac.uk/~solan/homepage.html A PHILOSOPHICAL GAME OF CHESS A game of chess was played between our minister of chess Öyvind Grotmol and custodian baron von Hillding. Just one move was done. Mr Grotmol opened kings pawn e2-e4 and baron von Hillding replied e7-e5. No further moves have been reported and the whole game might be a way of rising questions into the nature of chess and games. Sometimes there are more to it in not playing. MINISTER OF HANDICRAFT: NATIONAL COSTUME Lady Louise, minister of handicraft, has started a project on a national costume for ladonians. If you have any ideas just mail us. Head of state office of nomads Trond Ivar Hansen has suggested that the costume should be suitable for travels. Partly made of wood? Like a dragon? Green caftan? LADONIA, TEXAS Betsy Thaggard, minister of Poke Sallet, has recommended a link to Ladonia in Texas. If you want to know more about this place with the same name as Ladonia in Europe check out: |
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TUNNEL IN LADONIA We are almost ready to start working on the tunnel in Ladonia. The tunnel will be about 1 km long and connect the boarder station Håle in the west with boarder stations Gene in the east. As it is today the walk will take you about 10 minutes. It should't be needed more than 10 minutes in the future, though there might be some waiting time for the trainshuttle, probably not more than half an hour. The train shuttle will be formed as a gigant bicycle and the passenger will drive the train by pedalling. If there are many passengers the train will run faster and you might even gain some time. As you probably understand this project is not about gaining time but about progress. We are very lucky to be able to use Rhoca Gil to make the tunnel watertight. The Swedes have used Rhoca Gil in their problematic project at Hallandsåsen and we can have this agent as much as we like for free. We are also planning to build an island outside Ladonia using the excavated material from the same swedish project. No Swedes like this material so at the moment it is transported backward and forward as nobody wants it. But we can use it for landcaping. The minister of environment, Kjell Mårtensson, has not been contacted. We know that he is very occupied with his proposal on limitation of cycling among the rocks at the shore of Ladonia. This thing is urgent as two cyclists appeared in the summer. They had to carry their bikes but you'll never know the next time. PORTABLE COLONY The painter Lars Strandh has presented a fascinating gift to Ladonia. He has removed a part of the island of Samos in Greece. This piece of stone big enough to be hold in your hand is now a portable colony. It will be accessible to the public as it will be placed in Ladonia. "Carrying a colony in the palm of your hand". It is to be found in Ladonia Library close to the tower of the winds. GO MOOSEHUNTING IN LADONIA The fine thing whith moosehunting in Ladonia is that there is no moose, hunting become stressfree and you can really enjoy it. To prepare. Pack down your thermos and sandwiches in your backpack, meet the old fellows in the huntingteam, to be placed out (by lottery, where shall I sit this year?), to be out in nature, in the fresh air, maybe get away from a stressful job, kids, wife, you name it. All this together makes that the moosehunters divides the year in two, before and after the moosehunt. Building moosetowers. To sit in your own moosetower built by one´s own hand is a source to happiness for the hunter, old as well as young. I have built many moosetowers, two of them upon an attic in central Örebro, when I opened the window in the roof I could sit there and feel the wind in my face and look out over the tin roofs in the area. Later I have also built moosetowers in a restaurant in Stockholm, people thought it was a true pleasure to sit there and look out over all the guests, guess what they was served. The chance to shoot a moose from any of those towers was zero, it is said many times before but it deserves to be said again, it isn´t so important to shoot, on the contrary who wants to make a lot of noice. Well you don´t even have to be a moosehunter to build towers, this is our honourable state secretary a living proof upon. Huntingtimes for moose. As Minister of Hunting and Game Preservating I must say that the Ladonian hunters shall not be forced to stay at home and look upon when the Swedish hunters leave for the forest and their moosehunting. We should start our hunting the same day, the second monday in October and hunt on until we get bored. Since there is no moose i Ladonia there is no need for restrictions. Hunting greetings from Lars Vipsjö Minister of Hunting and Game Preservating RISE OF THE TOWER OF THE WINDS The tower of the winds fell in a storm in Ladonia in April this year. A new one is now steadily growing with the aim to reach the same height as the old, thus 15 meters. The swedish photographer Hans Kjellman (known in Ladonia for nailing 3,5 nails into the new tower) has set up a picture showing the growth of the new tower in comparison with the old one. A red mark shows the actual height of the growing tower. Just watch: http://www4.torget.se/users/h/Hasset/ladonia/nimisde2.jpg
GEOGRAPHICAL NAMES In our ongoing project on geographical names for Ladonia we received this from Elise Jahnsen. We have a great need for more and we ask our readers to use their crativity. "I have a great suggestion for a geographical name: Glob!" DAY OF URIEL The work with the Ladonian calender is progressing very well. There is still many days to fill so we can use more things to celebrate. "I would like to introduce the day 26 th of SEPTEMBER into the Ladonian celebration calender as THE DAY OF URIEL. Uriel is one of the Archangels and one of the Guardian Angels, and he is also September´s special Guardian Angel, and may be invoked ritually by those born in this month. The day 26th is especially powerful and given to the Head of the Department (me) to bring forth to the Ladonians. It claims that alchemy "which is of divine origin" was brought down to earth by Uriel and that he also watches over thunder and error. The ability to work with the heavenly alchemy will increase in the country of Ladonia and this will be of great power for all nomads living in this country! Ladonia must add this day to it´s scripture (calender) and get ongoing magical protection from error all kinds when celebrating this every 26th of September. Waaaaaaaal Countess Kicki von Hankell, Ministress of The Department of The Guardian Angels, Eon in Waiting at the Queens Court and Sydnyttminister." DAY OF CAPTAIN HILLMAN Our great custodian and baron von Hillding has suggested a day of captain Hillman: "Of course Captain Hillman should have a day. I have pinpointed the exact day that Hillman was first mentioned. In a discussion concerning the late author Folke Mellvig, Lord Lars af Lungö made this remark: "The man gave us Captain Hillman, let us never forget that." This occured 21st of March. Hence this will be " The Fictive Persons Day of Celebrations". This actually means the day that FP celebrate, so on this day we must keep our ears open and maybe, just maybe, we will catch one of them and put them into work." CODED MESSAGE FROM RUSSIA This strange message arrived from Russia. We have the theory that it is about possible connections between Ladonia and Russia. òðÁ¡±ÂÀÑÑÑt Word 6.0îÏÒÍÁÌØÎÙÊCREATEDATEEDITTI MEFILENAMEFILESIZEKEYWORDSLASTSA VEDBYNU MCHARSNUMPAGESNUMWORDS PRINTDATEPRIVATERDREVNUMSAVEDATES UBJECTTCTEMPLATETITLEXEALPHABETIC ARABICCAPSCARDTEXTCHARFORMATDOLLAR TEXTFIRSTCAPHEXLOWERMERGEFORMAT ORDINALORDTEXTROMANUPPERABSROUND DEFINEDINTANDFALSEMAXMINMOD AVERAGECOUNTNOTORPRODUCTIFSIGNSUMTRUE) |
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THE ROOM A STORY BY JOHN PARMAN IN NORWAY John Parman, Ladonian living in Norway has written this striking text: "From where I am sitting, I have a full view to my environment, this enclosed space I call home for about eleven hours out of every day, sometimes more. The smells are what attract me first, a riddled odor of books and magazines, dirty socks and old clothes. It is a smell I have come to believe in as familiar, unmistakable, and noticed. I no longer really smell it, it is a faint curiousity that sets my environment apart from others. There are many scraps of paper lying on the floor, a hardwood that looks like something found in a cheap hotel in a distant country, like Albania, except with a slight shine from feet moving across it all day. But there is not only paper, there is plastic and metal, books, magazines, and a typewriter that types in a cursive script from the 1950 s. Dust also occupies the floor, it never moves, but stays in a sad lonely existence on the floor, like a boulder lying on the desert sand. At times, when the sun bears down at noontime, the window is opened, the window that can support its frame, and the wind, however faint, rolls in and sweeps up the dust and pushes the scraps of paper and silently opens the magazines, then all falls into silence as the window closes when the sun goes down. It is the walls that tell the story of this room, they were painted last seven years ago, the owner chose a boney white, and quickly smothered whatever color this place once had. Today the walls have turned to another white, dirty, dark white, the color of black smoke left to sink into a piece of white paper. There are scratches, accidental pencil marks, areas where dirty hands have brushed against, and cracks. The cracks are what personifies these walls, they ran up these walls two years ago, when this house was retrofitted, the walls were pushed at a horizontal angle, and the floor was angled too, so that you put a wheel on the floor and it rolls towards the window. The cracks are long, like a canyon and extend to all sides from a single place, it is as though the wall is making face, like "this sucks!" or "please, get spackle!" It seems like they need a change, need a better environment to stand up on, but this is all they will ever have. For the thirteen years I have lived here, It has been cleaned countless times, it has had its furniture moved around, taken out, and put in. New items are added each day, almost like a library it grows to include something everyone can relate to. The books are also what creates the feeling of this room, there is a very eclectic selection of history books, art books, stamp collections, novels, picture books and poetry. It will one day be empty, entirely, but when that happens, its occupant will still enter it and tell of everything that was there, the bed that stood in a corner at the right, the great metal desk that stood proudly by the door, cluttered for an eternity with writing implements, papers, and souvenirs from everywhere. however, this room will be empty, and when it is, it will be clean, quiet cool and with walls a clean, untouched white. It will be nothing, but a reminder of better time." email: jparman@yikes.com THE STRANGE STORY OF Recollections of Emil Matalik by Tom Schuler I met Emil Matalik in Superior, Wisconsin in 1971. He was hanging around an underfunded and underorganized attempt at a radical bookstore run by another local kook. Emil had been running for president a number of years already as a result of an attempt by him to give away his land in Northern Wisconsin to the United Nations. Emil felt that World Government was the only way to peace and prosperity and thought that, if people gave their property to the U.N., this would hasten the process. Unfortunately, he discovered that a citizen of the U.S. can neither sell nor give away U.S. territory to a foreign government, not even to the U.N. Emil decided to make an issue of it. He showed me his file of letters and even a newspaper column detailing his exploits (tongue in cheek, but he didn't see it that way). It was at this point that Emil decided that the only way he could force America to give its land to the U.N. was to run for president. His platform consisted of a promise to turn control of the country over to the U.N. upon taking office. He called his political party, which consisted only of himself, the One United Nations Organization. Since Emil himself did not vote (he told me he didn't believe in voting), he never got a single vote in any of his runs for office, to my knowledge. Perhaps he managed to get some later, but as of 1971, he was batting .000. Emil's run for president didn't seem to have anything to do with any actual elections. He never registered as a candidate and never urged anyone to vote for him. He simply ran for president. He didn't care if it was an election year or not. He wasn't bothered a bit by the fact that no one voted for him. Finally, the U.N. actually wrote to him and told him that, while they appreciated his sentiment, they would not accept his land, even if they were allowed to. Emil was infuriated. To his mind, the U.N. had betrayed him and no longer deserved his support, so he changed the name of his party to One United Nature's Organization, because he had a few ideas about the ecology as well as World Peace. His new platform became a hodge-podge of Emil's various theories about the Earth. Emil seemed to have a special affinity for water. Any liquid was water to Emil. He once told me that the lava of volcanoes was actually just dirty water. Emil was convinced, he never clearly explained why, that the earth was a huge ball of water with a thin crust of land on the outside, possibly the result of the accrual of meteoric dust. Too much pressure on this crust caused the water in the center to squirt out through volcanoes. One of the main things that caused this pressure was the weight of too many people. Overpopulation caused volcanoes. Emil was also worried that the earth's water was evaporating into space, which would cause famines. His solution was to enclose the earth in a gigantic cube or sphere of glass. He considered the problem of acquiring that much glass to be irrelevant. He was sure that scientists could solve a little problem like that. He considered the glass enclosure of the earth to be an "experiment" that we urgently needed to do in order to be sure that the planet wouldn't dry up. Emil was a rather small man with a butch hair cut and favored baggy clothes. He said he had been in the Air Force for something like 14 years and had been medically discharged after a head injury. He said that he had a metal plate in his head. I have no idea if this was true. I don't recall any visible scars of any size on his scalp, so I am inclined to think that this was merely his story. Since he had no job, but managed to afford a small apartment, I think it is likely that he was receiving some sort of disability pay, so the military history may be true. The property he owned in Wisconsin had been bequeathed him by his father, who Emil said was a farmer. As of 1971, I believe he still had it, although I don't think it had a livable house on it, as he never went there. I lost touch with Emil after the erstwhile attempt of his friend to establish the bookstore failed. I saw an ad sometime later in the Duluth News Tribune, obviously placed by Emil, seeking a "wise Chinese woman" to run for vice president. Emil had spoken of his desire to find a running mate, especially a female and preferably Chinese. I don't know if he ever found one. Emil was not very good at attracting women. I have never seen one of his flyers. They must have been a later innovation. The resolution on the image was not very clear, but I think I recognize the earth-in-a-box drawing, but it also seemed to have evolved somewhat. I have no idea how he got to New York or what happened to him there. This story was sent to us from H. Rognskog in Norway e-mail: rognskog@online.no web: http://home.sol.no/rognskog/operaplattform HISTORY The chronicles of Torkel IV is sometimes very hard to read. Chapters are missing and the text is sometimes somewhat fuzzy. Probably because Torkel IV had the habit of guzzle beer while he wrote. Oh yes, he did it himself, even if he had servants that did it for him. He did not want his employees to overwork themselves... Well, anyway. There is some more information of the adventures of Ladon and Vesta. Last time we left them in the eternal city of Rome, visiting Romulus. Who disappeared in a golden cloud. Ladon and Vesta stood dumbfounded when the pontifex maximus (the high priest of Rome, not the pope) showed up. Oh visitors, I have read in the oxens bones that a lady like you would pass by. The great god Jupiter and the lesser god herr Beta arranged this spectacular show just for you, rambled the pontifex, just making Ladon more confused and Vesta puzzled. In the dark of the night, when the owl was hooting outside Jupiters temple, I heard a whisper in my mind, telling me to go to Romulus abode and there meet with a lady called Vesta. You must stay here in Rome and establish the order of vestalic virgins. You are a virgin, are you not? Now Vesta vaked up from her puzzlement and had to admit that she in fact was just that. (You know, Ladon did not have very bright vits and it had not occurred to him that Vesta might have wanted some more than just friendly affection, even though he loved Vesta. He considered himself a true gentleman, and thus missed an important point...) She was totally struck with the pontifex announcement but suddenly got a godsent revelation. This was just what she was going to do. Stay in Rome. Now what about Ladon? He was not really stupid and now the red rage of abandonment started to boil in his brain. He was totally thunderstruck, since he realized that the woman he loved was going to leave him. A black hole opened in his mind, he felt the dragonnature creep out from the innermost chambers of the unconscious realm. He felt himself on the way to be turned to a raging dragon, breathing fire. Wishing death upon humanity. He wanted to gorge in the blood of his enemies and tear the city The pontifex maximus saw the beginning and luckily enough had the wits to hit Ladon in the head. When Ladon woke up he found himself in the calmness of Jupiters temple. The pontifex was there, with a true compassion showing in his face. I know, he whispered, it is hard to lose one you love. But it will not do you any good to succumb to your dragon self. Drink this, sleep. And wake up as a new man. Ladon did that. To be continued |
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PROJECT: POEM OF NOTHINGNESS One of our citizens has started a project and we ask all our readers to help him go on with it. The idea of nothing is an important part of Ladonian philosophy. What is not? The answer (In a Numminen way) is "What", or "What is not" (without a question mark). You can join the project on the Ladonia Discussion Board or mail him directly: Posted by Nemo (Stanislav Sokolov) on October 02, 1997 at 11:34:45: "As my contribution to Ladonian language I chose the following latin phrase: Ex uihilo kvedam fit. I am fascinated by 'nothingness' - the absence of something, and "Ex uihilo kvedam fit" should mean something like "Something from nothing". I suspect that "uihili" or "nothing" is a very eonatic word. Moreover I think that the motto I presented above can represent the very nature of Ladonia - becoming (or at least seeking to become) something from nonexistence. 'Nothingness' is almost a religious matter and can be considered by the Minister of Church, Ingemar Nilsson. I hereby would like to propose a creation of a new project, where all Ladonians can participate. A creation of the National Poem to Nothingness (feel free to suggest another name!). This Poem would consist of only one word - "nothing", written in all the languages of all the nations. It will be growing just like Ladonia itself, and can become the "something" when all the languages known to man are exhausted! It can be an answer to an old philosophical problem: Where does everything come from? Can something be created from nothing? The Poem could begin like this: Waaaaaallll - uihili - nothing - ingenting - intet - [nishto] - The last word is a transcription of the Russian word for 'nothing'. I suggest that this procedure should be used for languages which cannot be written with latin letters. People of Ladonia, join this historical and philosophical project!!!! If "nothing" comes up on my e-mail address, I will append it to the Poem and present the results on the Ladoniaboard each Thursday. Your other suggestions concerning 'nothingness' are heartly welcomed! Absently yours, Nemo (Stanislav Sokolov)" |
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Our minister of health is challenging his colleague the minister of chance by presenting the astonishing theory of the Attractor. Chance is not, the Attractor is... "Several nights I have been visited by an Attractor. It seemed to be a rather androgynous creature, somewhat reminiscent of ancient Greek marble faces, just like the one I fell in love with back in 1966 when as a teenager I visited the Metropolitan Museum of Art in Hell, or in New York. Later I have learnt that Hell can be found as well downtown Chicago, not to speak of the suburbs, and probably in many other places as well where I have never ventured to travel. Uncountable people marching in totally synchronized fashions, left foot - right foot, very low entropy, and the rest living in shacks, much higher entropy. In our neighboring country Sweden Hell is not believed to exist at all. Everybody has television and conforming views. Few people listen to the vicars, no matter whether they are men or women, and the collective need of Super-Ego-Punishment is taken care of by Traffic Law, crouching police in the bushes when you least expect it. In Italy they still have Confession Cabins in the churches. Sometimes the good old world seems better, if you need to attend a Super- Ego rest room it is your own free choice. Here the Good Shephards of the people are crouching in the bushes, especially if the weather is nice, and you get reprimanded like more at random, irrespective of whether your wish to visit the confession cabinet or not - "Yes I have sinned, I have followed my inadequate human nature" ....and been speeding a little, or maybe even had a beer before sitting down behind the wheel, and not to speak of all the Quality Assurance Craze going on everywhere, the new Inquisition Agents Auditing your morals and having you describe all you are going to do which would make sense only if the world were truly Newtonian, deterministic, and consiting of gracefully curved trajectories, all being defined in the Magic Initial Point at the Beginning of Time. Unfortunately, such a point can never be found, between 2 points there always is possible to fathom yet another point, since, quite simply: a point merely does not exist. A dot exists. But not a point. And the only truly graceful curves I can think of are the lines cast by the relief in space of the hips of - my wife - when I am in a corresponding mood. Marble. Possibly Roman copy. I don´t remember anymore. The Attractor lives where there are no points, no trajectories
in the simple sense. We all know about the Great New God
Chaos. His angels are Attrractors. These Attractors are helping
hands in the Universe. In conditions of chaos (that is: always) psychokinesis
is possible. But the more chaotic and hypersensitive to minute fluctuations
something is, the easier to do psychokinesis. Last Monday I invented
a new game. The first game in history to use devices not in matter, but among
forces of beyond, attractors. The game was named the Quantum Vacuum
Ladonia Patria Game (or Qvlpg, for those many who love acronyms).
Our former Governor of State, great professor Lars Vilks,
was instructed to throw one of 5 dices, after he had announced an
"odd" or "even" outcome. If correct, he was allowed
to move his piece one step closer to the inner core of Ladonia
(all drawn on the table), and if his positive attractor turned
up - if he could announce a special affinity to a certain number - he
was allowed to move two steps. Then if he noticed a negative attractor,
he was allowed to put it into service as well, at the risk
of a heavy fine should he miss its newly bought favours. We
were both fascinated at the power we actually posessed. Unfortunately, I
couldn´t really play the role of the polite host and let my guest
win, since I had conceived the game, and done lots of previous
dice experiments in the Department of Health investigating
healing phenomena, probably I was simply better trained - so dear
fellow Ladonians, and peoples all over the world - do train your psychic abilities!
- and I wish you all a beautiful Autumn, and all you readers on the
Southern Hemisphere, a beautiful Spring as well! Emanuel von
Bock, |
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Vera Porad, Executive Editor
Anders Löwdin, Minister of Internet
Lars Vilks, Secretary of State of Ladonia
Lars Vilks
Box 1
S-260 43 Arild
Sweden
© Copyright 1997 Lars Vilks and Arrive Inter Media
Created : 1997-10-21