60th issue, April 2003
LADONIA AND IRAQ
Saddam dancing with a Bedouin (50 $) or an odalisque (60 $)
Saddam firing with a rifle into the air (50 $)
Saddam shooting a scud (100 $)
Bush hitting a ball with his baseball racket (50 $)
Bush giving a patriotic speech (10 $)
Bush with cowboy hat firing with colts (50$)
They can also be photographed when sitting on a white horse (the horse is made of wood), this is 10 $.
We also need oil from Iraq which we intend to steel through a tunnel between Ladonia and Iraq. Our minister of offence, Cihan Ergül , has just informed us that the part between Turkey and Iraq is already made.
Duct tape has been used by minister Hunter in his latest construction: the Ladonia Space Station Defender
Miloslav Surgos, minister of coincidence and destiny, ambassador in Slovakia is giving us this good piece of advice concerning duct tape:
People can clean their floors by attaching a double-sided tape to their shoe-bottoms and simply walk around. It's sure better than vacuum cleaning.
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“hoy es un dia muy triste para mi, disculpen si es que no les escribo en ingles, ayer hubo problemas en Bolivia, muertos, heridos, y vandalismo, resultado de eso, mi familia perdio todo lo que tenia, mi oficina y fuente trabajo fue saqueada por vandalos que entraton a mi edificio solo a robar y a destruir lo que no se pudieron llevar, mi corazon esta triste, tenia mucha esperanza en el trabajo que realizaba, la guerra y la lucha no es buena solo causa dolor, mi familia esta bien de salud, gracias al cielo, nos quitaron todo menos las ganas de trabajar, por un tiempo voy a retirarme de este gabinete, les pido permiso, creo que mi familia me necesita mas ahora.. pero les prometo que regresare. gracias por acogerme, gracias por hacerme reir cuando estaba triste, gracias por todo. hasta otro momento...VIVA LADONIA!!! el pais mas perfecto he imperfecto del universo.”
Can You hear the Rain?
It was raining outside and I could hear the drops cascading upon the roof.
My daughter asked me: "Dad, can you hear the rain?"
"Yes," I replied. "I can."
"No. Not the sound," she said.
"But, can you really hear the rain?"
She continued:
"The rain is singing. Can you hear the songs?
The rain cleanses the earth, and makes it born again.
The rain is more than drops of water, it is life itself.
Dad, can you hear the rain?"
"I used to, but I can't anymore," I said.
"Oh, dad, you can't hear the rain!" was her lament.
"But, I think I can again, if I only try," said I.
"Good, dad," she said. "Try. Just try."
Sweden had a famous consumer - Adolf Fredrik - our king in 1770 or there
about. It is told that he ate semlas till he died! What is often forgotten
is that he before the semla ate smoked herring, Russian caviar, lobster, a
plate with saurkraut (he was from Germany) and boild meat with turnip. And
THEN he ate a semla with warm milk och a bottle of champagne. After a couple
of hours he got stomach cramp and dizziness, had a fit and died. And then
the history blame his death on the semla! Very unjust, I think.
Filling this bun with marzipan began in the middle of 19th century and the
whipped cream came at the end of the 19th century. It was first at this time
it was began to be used as buns for coffee.
When you eat semla with luke warm milk it is called "hetvägg" which orginate
from the German word "heisse Wecken" (warm wedge). From start the shape of
the semla was like a cross or a wedge. Semlas come from Germany to Sweden
already in the 16th century.
So this very Swedish tradition is really a German thing!
Thank you Germany!
Marie Tilander, minister of good wine drinking : Winespiration
State secr: Flabbergast, a strange word, very little is known about it. Minister Hrtman in Indiana says that “flabb” there means “very fat”.
Walter Ehresman, minister of dubious anthems: "brouhaha”
Baron and minister L Jochum: bamboozle
\Bam*boo"zle\, v. t. [imp. & p. p. Bamboozled (?); p. pr. & vb. n.
Bamboozling (?).] [Said to be of Gipsy origin.] To deceive by
trickery; to cajole by confusing the senses; to hoax; to mystify; to
humbug. [Colloq.] --Addison.
What oriental tomfoolery is bamboozling you? --J. H. Newman.
Source: Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary, © 1996, 1998 MICRA,
Inc.
bamboozle
v : conceal one's true motives from esp. by elaborately feigning good
intentions so as to gain an end; "He bamboozled his professors into
thinking that he knew the subject well" [syn: snow, hoodwink, lead by
the nose, play false]
Miloslav Surgos, Minister of Coincidence and Destiny, Ambassador in Slovakia:
I was always fascinated with the swedish phrase 'på måfå', actually when it has to do with my ministry
“måfå” is made up by two Swedish words, “may” and “get” and means “random”
Lord Jörgen, minister of offense,: Personally I've always been very fond of the French word *maintenent*. Such a long word to express the short, brief instant moment! Before you have been able to pronounce it fully, the "now" of the time when you started on the first syllable has, when arriving at the end of the second syllable, transformed into a completely different "now".
And, considering our previous discussion about time travels, what if I meet up with a different me at the end of the word?
Is "maintenent" the Ultimate Literate Time Machine perhaps?
We are very interested in receiving more words bor the day of the book.
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I have taken the matter of time travel up with the natives in this
area and they assured me that time travel was possible. I told them
that I felt that it was not possible to travel back in time and they
agreed to a demonstration. I was told that a truck and a river were
all that was needed to travel back in time.
I loaned them my truck for the demonstration. We all got in and
drove across the nearest river. Much chanting was done as we drove.
As soon as we crossed the river into Nevada, I checked with a man
standing there and sure enough it was one hour in the past. I was
amazed but not as much as I was when we crossed the river back into
Arizona. As soon as we arrived back on Arizona soil, I found that we
had traveled forward in time by one hour once again.
I am looking into this as a possible thing for us to market and fill
the treasury with ortugs.
Any suggestions would be welcomed.
FRANCISCO JOSÉ DE L"PEZ Y DOMÍNGUEZ --
Quisiera aprovechar estas lineas que le escribo para agradecerle que se sirviese dar curso a mis peticiones acerca del reconocimiento de mi rango (nobiliariamente hablando), así como para solicitarle me informe de varias cuestiones.
Dichos asuntos son los siguientes: en primer lugar, quisiera saber si las "fuerzas políticas" (permítaseme esta denominación) que constan como existentes en nuestro Parlamento están aún en vigor, desde los socialdemócratas a los templarios, así como si mi manifiesto de creación y mi dirección de correo eléctrónico serán puestos en breve a disposición del pueblo ladón, a fin de crear completamente el Partido Conservador de Ladonia (Ladonian Conservative Party o LCP). Quisiera a suvez preguntarle acerca de cuándo se habilitará un espacio para el Ejército del que me honra formar parte, para sus formularios de admisión y demás.
Sin más, saludo en su persona a un ministro del Gobierno de Su Majestad la Reina (q.D.g.)y me despido, esperando su pronta respuesta
Su seguro servidor y amigo,
I.S.D. FJLD, General, Hidalgo de Ladonia y de España
I think that I shall never see
Therefore I am
Blind.
Virtual Dialogue with God
Late Night Thoughts of a frustrated Nobel Prize nominee in Denmark were recently intercepted by Ladonian intelligence. The nominee thought he was having a conversation with God and the intelligence officer answered him as best he could. We enter the conversation at a point where the nominee, in an honest state of bewilderment, has asked God why his personal well documented brilliancy hasn't brought him any duely deserved success.
Officer: - Having not been able to use brilliance or having failed, same thing, you live in a very densly conditioned world where all kinds of actions cancel each other out, and as long as you do not know what powers there might be in your true selves, you are just tossed around like driftwood with great but never fully actualized plans. The world takes its own corse in an ant hill way of existence. The problem is very much transcendental.
Frustrated Nominee: - There must be a way to break through and it does not have to to with reflection of the past - it has to do with the future.
Interesting notion. As if we have already figured out the past and now need
to enter the future.
Officer: - Well, or transcend whatever you have now. Years ago men had ideas about a kind of infinity mathematics to be invented one day - some of them ignorant of Cantor's work since they were mathematical laynmen, but anyway - the possibility to transcend and have something much greater and unthought of always stands in the background for people who have reached further than the on and off forehead light level.
Frustrated Nominee: - There is of course no future, the entire issue of time is a misnomer. That intrigues me a great deal - there is no time. Time is what we employ to mark the sequence of events in the material world where it makes sense - but beyond that there is no time.
Officer: - The now Cosmic Saint Mr John Godolphin Bennett was courageous enough to fix the place of what he called 'framework conditions' at a level where they can be touched from the true self. From greater freedom down, that is, from my dwellings, through higher worlds ans so on, downwards, the proper world of man is the first one where a four-fold framework appears, space, time, eternity, hyparxis. Space is the external framework, while the other three are named "internal". Time is as you say what actualizes in Existence, eternity is an immensly much greater pattern of potentialities, and hyparxis the "ableness to be" or power of actualization - so for instance, the biological stability of an entity becomes its "hyparcic regulator". Interestingly, hyparxis is also periodic (just as the old learned Germans used to say: Einmal ist keinmal). Hyparxis is closely related to Will, and whatever personal power you have, it's your hyparcic ability to manifest it. And most ills of the soul are characteristically
periodic.
Frustrated Nominee: - There is existence, but no time. That allows a great deal.
Officer: - With simple parables, first, the hell people usually live in is unbecoming to man. The proper world of the true self is planetary. The more advanced part of humankind is struggling in divided selves, like mountain climbers with one leg trying to reach the true self above, and the other firmly planted in his material entirely conditioned self below, or just tossed around at mercy of his reactive self with lights on or off. So you should understand how to inherit the Earth. Above you will find the demiurgic world under the sun, a regulatory pattern which was expounded in deapth by the by now cosmic saint Doktor Carl Jung, with his hypothesis of the archetypes andessential qualities of number. The day you become candidate of attaining your true self, or have furnished your body-of-finer-substances "Kesjdan" as the by now Cosmic Saint Grigorei Ivanovitch Gurdjieff called it, the vessel of the soul. This body "Kesjdan" allows for something beyond self-hood to live in you, which does not need the support of space, time, eternity and hyparxis, as you know them in your planetary world. You are born out of stardust. But these are only parables. Your commitment to Existence involved, in Saint Bennett's mind, a separation of the possible from the impossible - another way of stating framework conditions - but on a much higher level. And Freedom is doing the impossible. It is the maverick 7th dimension, if the planetary framework conditions can be taken as 6, space with its tradirtional 3, &c.
Frustrated Nominee: How do you align your love for Humankind and the cliffs of Ladonia with the idea of timelessness and the complete freedom of the
mind/soul/spirit?
Officer: - Well, in order to do those things, one needs to understand how the world works, and how the mind works, and I feel these matters have become my duty to try and explain. You live in a world which needs to rise above the on and off reactive self level, with its tiny little light attached to your foreheads - the reactive self is a wonderful thing, it's sensitive, just as the divided self is marvellous, holding our character, but with sensitivity only and lacking any higher organisation of consciousness there is little will can help you with, you are forever going to be just arbitrary links and tools to whatever is taking place above your heads. With divided self your control increases, but only with true self can you be responsible of your own lives. And that prepares for timelessness and complete freedom - and is the path every soul must walk - that's the truly perennial beauty of it.
At this point the Frustrated Nominee went for a drink and switched on the televison sports news - Mind you - a lot of highly intelligent men love to watch the sports channels because all the ordinary news, prepared for non-elitistic cuts of the general population, just seem to be unbearably boring for them. Unfortunately, he also forgot most of the conversation above, so his divided self must have fallen asleep.
With this little piece of strong sbsisting reality, The Ministry of Health of Ladonia wishes All men on the Earth, and similar entities on All Other Planets, whatever their personal looks, provided they are made in the Image of God with three being parts so they can mirror the Divine Will housing Holy Blessed Trinity in their infinitesmally much smaller and more insignificant abodes and walks of life, and so hope for, after due intentional sufferings and conscious labours, as loved to say the by now Cosmic Saint Mr Grigorej Ivanovitch Gurdjieff, one day attain their true selves - and just to mention in passing, the same I expect from all of you who are smart enough to switch on your computers - what are you living for once your loved ones have beed cared for, to watch the evening news like everybody else - or to really do something nobody else is doing?
Yours sincerely, Doktor Emanuel von Bock
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Lars Vilks
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Created: 2003-04-06