Ladonia Herald issue 65, November 2003

65th issue, November 2003

THE FOURTH NATION WITH A MAN IN SPACE

In order to establish Ladonia as a major nation we had to send a man into space, the first Ladonaut. We decided to send Per Cod, minister of yellow snow. Responsible for the launch was the Ladonia Space Administration Center under the guidance of Minister James Hartman. The project on the 18th and 19th of October, was a great success and the comment from Per Cod after his space trip was: “I may be safe, but I have never been sound.”

And Lisa, minister for mythological beasts, says:

Boom! goes London
Boom! Paree...

So, here then,
Boom! goes bacon
Boom! breakfast...

Find of soy in many forms but let go of that chicken leg !! Mine!

Pictures: Launching-pad close to the Bear Tower in The Independent state of Skellefteå
The Ladonaut Per Cod in Space
(Photos by the Ministry of Future Science)

Launching-pad close to the Bear Tower in The Independent state of Skellefte�. © Photos by the Ministry of Future Science

The Ladonaut Per Cod in Space. © Photos by the Ministry of Future Science

ANOTHER UNEXPECTED INTERVENTION

The three war that is fought by Ladonia, against Sweden, USA and San Marino are handled in a postmodern way. The war is conceptual with repeated information as a strong weapon. The wars are also fictitious – one may think. But the scale is always 1:1 and you can never predict when it connects with the real world. The real world is also a problem as it just exists in the teve, film and video. Anyway, our Minister of Zen, Tim Neale, has made a tremendous conquest: “Over the last two months I have conquered the whole of the Outer Hebrides in the name of Ladonia. I have kept the administration of the Isles exactly the same as they were before I conquered them to keep the natives peaceful.” His conclusion is on the level of his ministry:

”I am concerned that Ladonian products and services do not carry the health warning ‘may contain traces of nuts’.”

This is a very unexpected move in the war. I think that one of the main reasons for the intervention of the Outer Hebrides is to cut of a part of the possibilities for connections between USA and Sweden. It could also be an act of terrorism: We strike everywhere, you will never know before it is too late.

CORRECTION

Count and Minister of Avatars Jeremy Turner did not marry Elizabeth Pickard. The happy bride was Lady Lux Interior, while Mrs Pickard, High Priestess, allowed the minister to marry. We are very sorry about the confusions.

The Bride Lady Lux Interior

LADONIA VODKA: THE BEST THE NEWEST THE STRONGEST

When you choose vodka, remember to make the best choice: LADONIA VODKA

Ladonia Vodka on the rocks. © Photo: James Hartman

DEATH IN LADONIA

The cabinet has found an easy way to deal with death. You cremate yourself and spread your own ashes. That has to be done in PLAYA DEL MUERTE (after a proposal from the minister of Art & Jump Fredrik Larsson). As we have no soft playa in Ladonia, death will bring it. Walter Ehresman, minister of dubious anthems comments: ....."Playa del Muerte".....that has a real dramatic ring to it! Children could play at the beach in the sand of their ancestors. Then there could be the Playa del Muerte Music Festival on the Ladonian beaches each year, for those not too squeamish to attend. We could feature The Dead (on tour in the US now w/ Joan Osborne on vocals), The Men They Couldn't Hang, and even some dead performers (Rory Gallagher, Jimi, Muddy, et.al). The first human being to use this option was Count Andras, Minister of Intelligence, living in Hungary, who writes: “I have already self-cremated myself, but apparently I'm resurrected to serve Ladonia longer!”

A CANDIDATE FOR PRESIDENCY: COUNTESS KICKI

The vice president, as well as countess and minister of guardian angels, Kicki Hankell, is a candidate for presidency. Her campaign has already started. She is actually the only candidate that has shown interest for the president election in Ladonia. This will take place at the end of the year 2003.

Kicki Hankell for president! © Photo: James Hartman

LADOPHONE

The Minister of the River Ladon in Arcadia, Sir Vassilios Roumeliotis,
Knight of Arcadia is reporting:

“My ministry really worked hard, day and night, and proudly presents:

The Ladonia Translator v1.0
It is the only way right now to solve our global communication problems!!
You speak Ladonian to its Ladophone, and everything is done automatically...
Plus, it does not need power to work (except manual power) so once again
Ladonia cares about Nature and it's power supplies!
A new version is allready scheduled to be out in 2004 with a fax machine
attached! But don't worry.. You can get v1.0 for FREE and upgrade later to
the newest version - yes - for FREE again!!!!”

SURPRISED PERSON

The main issue in contemporary life is to surprise people. And how do they look when they are surprised? Probably like Scott Hartman who here can be seen in such a state of mind. The very interesting thing is that he is not surprised by something specific but generally surprised.

Generally Surprised Scott Hartman

A WALK FROM HARTMANBURG DOWN TO NIMIS

If you want to become familiar with a part of Ladonia you should try to follow the steps of James Hartman leading you from the rocks of Hartmanburg down to the view of Nimis.

http://www.geocities.com/futurescience/hartmanburg.html

IN SLOVAKIA

... talking about military stuff... we have Ladonian Air Force, Ladonian Navy, Ladonian Secret Service... and few days ago I saw our brave Marines in the woods close to Ladonian Embassy in Slovakia.
Hmmm, since it was not on Ladonian territory I guess it had to be our 1st Expeditionary Force of Ladonian Royal Republican Marine Corps.

Anyway, check it out by yourselves, they are on the photo. Watch closely, see them? The whole platoon exercising some secret combat methodes. Masters of camouflage, aren't they?

Bild: Slovakisk skog

They are really brave, skilled and tough men (and women? Do we have in Marine Corps some women?) but perhaps little bit rude.
I heard them shouting some marching cadences and they were pretty aggresive, hmmm :-I

here are some quotations

Everywhere we go
People wanna know
Who we are
So we tell them

[:1,2,3,4 Ladonian Marine corps:]

Heeey there Swedes
get in your homes
and be afraid of me
I'm Ladonian Marine Infantry

[:1,2,3,4 Ladonian Marine corps:]

Go to town and kill some Swedes
Throw some battle-ants at Riksdag down
Do it in an early morning
Nimis gets the revenge now

[:1,2,3,4 Ladonian Marine corps:]

Aim some dragonflies at king's castle
Watch the guards there ring the bell
Look at all those Swedes crying
As their castle burns to hell

[:1,2,3,4 Ladonian Marine corps:]

Throw some örtugs to those Swedes
Watch them as they gather round
Lock and load on your ducttape gun
Mow those little suckers down

[:1,2,3,4 Ladonian Marine corps:]

Is there someone in the Cabinet responsible for the Marine Corps of our mighty-and-swedescarying military? If not, I could be the man in charge - I have best qualification. I live in country where we don't have any even tiny piece of sea and I succesfully avoided Slovak compulsory military service so I'm the best man to be a LRRMC general :-)

Anyway, the feminist chick thing... one of my friends, a known womanizer, says that all feminists are pretty radical in their opinions until they sleep with him :-) Perhaps is lack of sex the main reason why that one feminist so doesn't like Ladonia and so... Yeah, that sounds like nasty male theory :-)))

waaaaall

H.E. Miloslav Surgos
Minister of Coincidence and Destiny
Ambassador in Slovakia

Forest

AT THE END OF THE DAY

A word from our Minister of Health

Again, on the last pages of yet another Ladonia Herald, I am compelled to say something of importance. So let me think of something really hilarious, like the belief among scientists today, yesterday's wig-men from Köningsberg, good old Kant among them, the town itself unfortunately blown off the face of the earth in the last World War with all the seven bridges and everything and subsequently turned into a neo-socialist city, alas, but not not to mourn anymore, we have a new century with new crazy warlords about, some kind of revival of obsolete ghosts from the remote past, and as long as we can relax from those polarity programmed entities, we might, for instance, direct our thoughts to that hilarious theory held in considerable esteem by the learned establishment, namely, the Big Bang theory. Bang! (with no sexual allusion whatsoever) - the existence of everything was granted, we are told. What people usually don't think of, however, is how they think, if they think at all. If thinking is directing ones attention towards attaining a certain goal, most people never think - they however react, something insults them, and they react one way, something brings luck, they react another way. That is by the way one of the greatest health problems we have to struggle against - people seek to justify and victimize themselves, and thus fall prey to unconscious black magic. Very dangerous! Or, something strikes them in that incessant haphazard stream of associations in our brains, and they consider themselves geniouses. But now Big Bang and thinking! We have learnt to think in polarities, we have logic, we have counting, comparing, that is to say, mathematics, and mathematics is great. But what about thinking in triads? The only way of thinking with three equally independent elements is writing counterpoint - although you might try and parallel Thomas Talli's Speem in Alium with 40 voices, the truly independent ones still remain three. Because of the living triad, music has enormous intellectual power, it goes right through the heart to something immensly much greater than the ordinary everyday corners of our brains. Maybe you can add a fourth equally important as well as independent factor - the occasion of performance. We now have a means to understand deeper things than logic ever could grasp, and still remain entirely intecllectual - Now, do we really believe the Big Bang was the origin of all there is?

The question itself is stupid, we can get a hang of the problem already with ordinary logic - by refuting the proposition (but should we have wished to affirm it, not even all the marrow of all our bones would have sufficed). What we don't experience, we cannot see - the whole - the universe - is whatwe experience - but how could that be the totality of all there is - the whole question is already a polarity long before it ever became unity, we
only dreamt about unity, instead we have to face what we can know and what we cannot know. The Big Bang is where our observational data collapse, and our thinking ability with this data, as long as we stay with polarities
thinking, simple comparison, simple rules. Before we know the all, every theory about the all will be nothing more than the self portrait of a philosopher or an age. We cannot go back to wholeness from polarity, neither
can we walk the opposite path and reach infinity, we hardly even can make the first step, and think with three independent factors, doing polyphony...

So, deeper thinking cannot be isolated from being. On the other hand, being is possible without thinking. The level of being we need to attain has power. Thinking is exercising will, or shall we say, opening up for that
mysterious power, in the right occasion - when magic is possible. This bringing about, to the "here and now", making "just so" is known in deeper philosophies all over the world, and in the West it is named 'subsistence' -
the fourth category after wholeness, polarity, and relating. There is no upper limit to the possible number of these categories, the more we can understand and master, the greater our sophistication - but the fourth category is where we first touch reality. Hence, probably, the ancient four elements, and perhaps Carl Jung's life long preoccupation with the number four, most prevalent in the basic structures of our dreams.

With this short & humble essay, To All Peoples, all over the World, the Ladonian Ministry of Health wishes beautiful days and beautiful nights, enough sunshine, inspiring thinking and refreshing rain, for good rest with its pitty-pattering the roofs, and not to forget, always uncountable stars!

Emanuel von Bock, Minister of Health.

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Vera Porad Falk, Executive Editor
Lars Vilks, Secretary of State of Ladonia

Lars Vilks
Box 1
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Created: 2003-11-12