The voting will go on until the 17th of April. The exhibition in Simrishamn (see below) includes a voting station.

Voting station in Simrishamn in the south of Sweden. Minister Fredrik Larsson giving his vote.

Send your vote to my address, state secretary: lars.vilks@swipnet.se

Here again the candidates:
1) Countess Kicki Hankell, she is vice president and Minister of Guardian Angels.
2) Phil the Rock is a rock and has been found by Lisa Minister of Mythological Beasts.
3) Sandra Bonard, she is from Spain, 24 years old and work with computers.
4) Oscar Espinosa is living in Argentina.
5) Nelson Pervaz is from Pakistan.
6) Lord Medicus Heribert, Germany, quoting Glenn Capps "Everyone is for progress, yet nobody is for change", and Kant: "The best way to predict the future is to invent it").
7) Ivan Boryagin from Russia.
8) Batistini Sport Shirt not Wrinkling & Red Rubber Thongs (Shoes) This is our popular candidate “Shirt & Thongs”, connecting a certain shirt presented by Minister Lord Jorgen from Sweden and thongs by Minister Chris Mansell from Australia.
9) Daniel Jiménez (Spain): “Dear citizens, cabinete and queen of Ladonia: I present you my candidacy for president of this fantastic state. I want you to be able to see Ladonia better, I want Ladonia to be recognized in Europe primarily but also in the world .

One of my electoral promises will be to create the international cabinet of the Ladonia´s citizens where they will be represented by an ambassador of the state where they live. These ambassadors will be elected by the Ladonian in all the countries where there are some Ladonian. Therefore all the Ladonia´s citizens are going to have the right to vote.”

10) Lorenzo Fiore from Italy: “After a long period of illness, now I'm ready to candidate myself as the next Ladonia's President in competition with Countess Kicki.

I propose also to estabilish a new ministry: the "Ministry of mysterious things that live behind the fridge". I propose myself as the new Minister, of course. ’Nulli Secundi’”

11) Count Per Von Nordensson, Sweden, claims that he has among many other things built the Chinese Wall. But he also says he hasn’t.

12) Zack Albun, he is from USA: “As a Citizen of Ladonia, I believe that the common man, or woman, or animal, or inamtimate object, must have a voice in this great nation. That is why as a Citizen of Ladonia, I hereby nominate myself, Zack Albun, common citizen, to be president. As well, i realize my chances of attaining the office ar slim so I support another candidate for nomination. American film critic Leonard Maltin. Leonard knowledge of nearly every motion picture ever created is the clearly the best weapon for the war in Sweden and I believe he could lead Ladonia to eternal glory.” (Maltin cannot participate as he is not a Ladonian citizen)

13) Vladimir Oravsky He is from East Europa living since many years in Sweden. He has been director of cultural matters in Umeå. His book “The Happy Occupation” deals with cultural matters in Sweden.

14) Patrik Hallberg, from Sweden: “O YES”

15) The Void, (which is a void) a candidate presented by Minister of Yellow Snow Per Cod.

The war against San Marino is now in its final state. If you wonder why we since the 7th of July last year have this war there are good reasons.
1) They might have weapons of mass destruction /and if they should not have it is nowadays still OK/.
2) Our commission lead by minister Taru Salmenkari has found that San Marino was created by the son of old king Ladon, that is king Ladon II (the small) (see further details below).
3) It is an unnecessary country.
4) Etc (I am here quoting Borges). Anyway FROM THE NORTH ARE COMING our WAR ELEPHANTS which have crossed the Alps (Compañía "ANÍBAL" /Caballería Pesada, elefantes/) attacking San Marino. From the east and southeast we have the Armada led by Almirante: I.S.D.Francisco José de López y Domínguez, Caballero Gran Cruz (Collar) de la Orden de la Legión de Honor de Ladonia.
The Armada consists of:

ESCUADRA NORTE

 Contraalmirante

 Capitán de la 1ª División "NELSON" (4 Capitanes, 1 por buque)

 Capitán de la 2ª División "YAMAMOTO" (4 Capitanes, 1 por buque)

ESCUADRA SUR

 Contraalmirante

 Capitán de la 1ª División "RODNEY" (4 Capitanes, 1 por buque)

 Capitán de la 2ª División "MAGALLANES" (4 Capitanes, 1 por buque)

There are, however, 130 ships in all. The ships have been moved onto big trucks with cranes (as San Marino has no connection with the sea) and will fight in this way (with sails). Ladonia is also using terrorist diving low price bombers who are jumping from ordinary low price aircrafts using only their bodies as weapons. We still have not many of these, the training is extremely difficult. Down you go, San Marino!

The war strategies is shown in Simrishamn (House of Culture, Valfisken) in the south of Sweden.

Airborne elephant entering San Marino. Photo James Hartman

President of the commission, minister Taru Salmenkari has given the cabinet this report from his investigation about Ladonia-San Marino:

It took some time for me to find the exact date of enfeoffing San Marino to Ladonus Secundus from the scarce sources of 6th century. You see, I am not fluent in Greek and at that time the area was governed by the East Roman Empire from Konstantinopol.
The whole story is of interest, and so I will now relate it to you. After leaving rainy and foggy lands of his father, Ladonus Secundus sailed to Italy, as we already know. There he abandoned his father's courtly lifestyle and lived first as a man of medicine in the city of Ravenna. He was a well-to-do and respected citizen of this town. It was told that he was known for Nordic herbs and medicines, one of which was then called "renhornet" told to be efficient against impotence. Of course, we have no way of knowing anymore, what this medicine was made of, but early records seem to connect it with the place called Sami. This seems to indicate that at the time of Kind Ladon Ladonia either extended to further to the north than nowadays or that it had extensive trade relations with neighbouring peoples.
This time Byzantine emperor was all vigilant about developments in Italy, since Langobards had recently occupied most of its territory. In order to safeguard Byzantine possessions around Ravenna, emperor Maurikios sent one of his sons to Ravenna. At his arrival this son, Leontios, caught a glimpse of a beautiful blond girl who, like many other inhabitants of Ravenna, had came to the harbour to witness the arrival of Byzantine fleet. Leontios asked about the girl and he was told that she is Vilkia, 13-year-old girl of Ladonus Secundus (yes, girls were then marriable at that early age). Leontios paid a visit to Ladonus Secundus and the two men agreed about engagement of the two young people (yes, that was the habit then).
Vilkia, however, did not agree with her father's arrangement. Being as stubborn as her father she now escaped during the night and took refuge at a loyal widow's house. We must now describe a little Vilkia's state of mind to explain her choice. Vilkia had been brought up in a house which despised everything royal. It must be that Ladonus Secundus had some second thoughts about leaving his father's kingdom, which made him, trying to explain himself his own rash youthful rebellion, a loud opponent of courtly lifestyle. Vilkia had grown up equating courts with useless idleness and mindless luxury. Now peeping the beautiful prince entering his father's house, wearing his best, of course, like any sensible suitor would be,Vilkia thought that the prince only wants to add Vilkia into his collection of luxuries, ready to abandon her as soon as he could engage himself with anything else being of even fleeting interest.
Now Ladonus Secundus was unable to produce the bride he had promised, and understandably Leontios became angry. Leontios set up armed troops to punish Ladonus Secundus and his family, who, of course, tried to escape their destiny by fleeing to the mountains. But well-armed troops led by Leontios chased them.
Vilkia heard about her father from the faithful widow, who brought her food and news every day. Vilkia decided to save her father. She let the widow, who knew small mountain paths well, as she collected her meagre income by gathering wood, fruit, and mushroom from the mountains, to guide her. And in two days they caught Leontios, who had just surrounded Ladonus Secundus' hiding place. Vilkia saw the prince again, now in shiny armour, and his military attire gave Vilkia very different impression than the first time. This was not an idle man, but a man of determination and valour. Moreover, he had ventured all the way to this mountain hideout to find Vilkia, instead of pursuing other beautiful girls of Ravenna. Vilkia's heart melted and tears fell on her cheeks when she threw herself on the ground in front of Leontios asking him to save her father.
Overjoyed, Leontios called Ladonus Secundus and the rest of the family to come to celebrate this reunion with them. On the wedding meal, after which the marriage was consumed, Leontios promised to give the area to Ladonus Secundus and his descendants until the Day of Judgement. When the happy couple sailed back to Konstantinopol, Leontios asked his father Maurikios to fulfill this promise. Thus, we can still find a letter of enfeoffment dated on the year 587 in Byzantine archieves. The young couple did not stay in Konstantinopol for long, though.
Understanding Vilkia's displeasure of courtly idleness, Leontios took many military posts, leading troops at frontiers and fortressing harbors. This kind of ascetic life suited Vilkia's taste, and she herself found use of her medical skills learned from her father. Well, the Day of Judgement has not come yet, has it? So Ladonians' still have rights for San Marino. Ladonians were there before the place was even known as San Marino. This name appears first in the year 885. San Marino claims independent history from 1263, but we claim Ladonian land rights from 587! We want San Marino back, and we are entitled to have it.

Taru
President de Chambres de Réunion

Exhibition in Simrishamn about the war against San Marino. Showing war elephant.

Minister Fredrik Larsson:

There's amnesia in a hang knot,

And comfort in the ax,

But the simple way of poison will make your nerves relax.

 
There´s surcease in a gunshot,
And sleep that comes from racks,
But a handy draft of poison avoids the harshest tax.
 
You find rest upon the hot squat,
Or gas can give you pax,
But the closest corner chemist has peace in packaged stacks.
 
There's refuge in the church lot
When you tire of facing facts,
And the smoothest route is poison prescribed by the kindly quacks.
 
chorus -
With a ugh! and a groan, and a kick of the heels,
Death comes quiet, or it comes with squeals -
But the pleasantest place to find your end
Is a cup of cheer from the hand of a friend.

Ladonia says absolutely no to the terror attack in Madrid. The only consolation to mention is that terrorism is not a great danger. Very few people die of terrorist attacks. People in Spain, and also in most part of the world, have other dangers. The two main targets are 1) Fatness 2) Traffic and 3) Alcohol. They kill all the time. Ladonia will still underline that the country will hunt down and exterminate all foreign terrorists. The only good terrorist is a Ladonian terrorist.

LADONIA CONDENA LOS ATENTADOS EN MADRID

El pasado 11 de marzo, Madrid fue sacudido por la barbarie terrorista: más de 190 fallecidos y de 1400 heridos son el balance de la barbarie a que puede llegar el género humano.

Ladonia, como país ajeno a la violencia en sus planteamientos más fundamentales, como amiga de España, de donde provienen muchos de nuestros queridos ciudadanos, se suma a la repulsa mundial al atentado, y envía, desde aquí, su más cálido abrazo y más profundo pésame a los familiares de las víctimas e insiste en el lema que repiten los corazones en España:

!BASTA YA!
(Admiral López)

Here's the lyrics to a song I wrote a couple of years ago:

Just Keep Your Eyes on the Ball(© 2002 Walter Ehresman)

[intro: calliope music, with barker]
Step right up! Step right up! Yes, you sir; step on out of your Suburban. Everyone's a winner! Just follow the ball, sir; win something nice for your lady friend. Anyone can do it. Just keep your eyes on the ball.
[verse #1]
They never dreamed that it would be this easy;
They would've bet that you were not this dumb;
So many millions to those advertising gurus-
they could've saved it all and bought more guns.
[verse #2]
If they had only known the things you'd swallow-
think what they could've done in Ronnie's day!
Wrap every poison in the Stars and Stripes;
The only measurement--the flag you wave! [repeat line]
[chorus]
It's just like showin' dogs a card trick;
It's just like selling god to seniles;
Just like takin' candy from a baby
then saying that you didn't just to watch that trusting smile.
[solo]
[break: calliope music with barker]
Yes sir, step right up ladies and gentleman; See the Office of Homeland Security. That's right.....kill the patient to save him. Everyone's a winner. An Expedition in every driveway. See the Office of Privacy Surveillance. Step right up. See the Department of Environmental Economics. Step right up, don't be shy (get away from me, kid, ya bother me). Everyone's a winner!
[verse #3]
They're getting giddy with this misdirection;
They're getting greedy with this subterfuge;
They're getting sloppy with these rank diversions;
They've bet the farm that you will not see through.[chorus]

Yes, some Islamists have disagreements with us. Some more so than others. Hey! Guess what? If their governments treated them fairly,
compassionately, maybe they'd be just a bit less mad at the 800lb (363kg)
gorilla that rules the world. Whoa! What a concept! Perhaps the US does
behave in an arrogant manner. Maybe we love dino-juice so much that
alternative fueled cars are not affordable by ordinary people on purpose? (I
hope we all know that "hydrogen cells" have never worked which is why the
slightly more honest media claim 10 to 12 years before we all use them to
power our "freedom" vehicles. Is it possible that power loves to control?
Hmm? I think it just might be. So, thus and ergo, our recent foreign policy,
(since the '50's, at least), lead by the upper strata hopes to consolidate
their wealth. It has always been this way. Wealth always seeks more.
No, of course, I'm not "rooting for" any extremist of any kind. I'm rooting
for sane, kind people everywhere. Most of the world's humans don't make it
onto the morning or evening News. Most of us just want to be.

--Lisa, etc.

This is a letter of official registration of the Ladonian Tupperware Party. 
Though this party was formed by me and two colleagues, membership in the
party has steadily increased due to intense campaigning and it's new section
in my website. The Tupperware party's current main goal is to ordain a
Ladonian Bill of Rights. I will be running under the tupperware party for
president, as I am the head of the party.
And the head of the party, Zack Albun, is also a candidate for presidency. He is also sending this message
Visit the Tupperware party at:
http://www.Albun04.tk

          "The People of Ladonia need a leader, and I, Zack Albun, am
clearly the best candidate for the office of the presidency. Vice-President
Hankell, she has been part of an inactive Rodriguez administration that has
brought about little progress in our young nation. Phil the Rock is a
heartless uncompassionate being who has done even less for the country than
Countess Hankell. What do we know about Sandra Bonard, Oscar Espinosa, Lord

Heirbert, or Patrik Hallberg? We simply cannot leave the most important office in Ladonia (under her highness Ywonne I Jarl) to an absolute stranger! Count Von Nordensson has presented himself as a self-contradictory and highly unstable man who simply cannot be trusted! Vladamir Oravsky has too many other "personal" concerns to become our next president, and Lorenzo Fiore'e limited plans show little progress. Daniel Jimenez' plans make absolutely no sense, The Void is a Void. Period. And Finally, Bastini Shirt and Thongs' morals Must be questioned. Evidence has shown that the shirt has had several affairs with several pairs of pants, and the thongs seem to have had a previous commitment to a certain pair of feet. As For Me. I Am Proposing A new constitution for Ladonia, Permanently defining the role of the President, Ordaining a Ladonian Bill of Rights, and clearing up any confusion about the current disarray of the Ladonian

parliament."

He might be a very important person. A flat man and moving around. And I hope that some of the readers will take the trouble to expand Flat Stanley’s life by following the instruction below and send a postcard to Minister Carolyn Shelby’s daughter. You can check Flat Stanley on the web, he is alive, certainly.

Flat Stanley takes a look at Parthenon when visiting Minister Vassilis Roumeliotis in Athens.

Flat Stanley got drunk in Australia according to Minister Chris Mansell

My daughter, Gretchen, is doing a school project where each child makes a big paper doll (named Flat Stanley) and mails him to a relative who lives as far away as possible. The relative who receives Flat Stanley is supposed to mail the child a postcard (ostensibly from Flat Stanley himself) from wherever it is the relative lives. So, in Gretchen's case, she mailed Stanley to a relative in Texas, and she should be getting a postcard with some type of Texas scene on the front and signed by Flat Stanley.

Please send postcards to

A word from our Minister of Health

Deftly disguised, riding on camels, the Ladonian Ministry of Health has crossed territories of greatest danger, to visit the popular esoteric community Shangri Laa hidden beyond the Ancient River Oxus somewhere in Retro Hindu Kush. Finally arrived, after hardships unrecountable, all our winter bellies from the season 2002-2003 nicely abated, we seemed to be warmly welcomed, but in order to pass the border control, one of us needed to present an original piece of music for their archives. We tried this and we tried that with little apparent success, even the our fine conceptual art nature Ladonian anthem throwing a stone in the sea (no sea around, we tried a mountain wall) failed to meet approval, so no way, on August 18, 2003 the Minister was arrested, his band of co-travellers placed in old military tents next to the border prison, nick-named the ‘Ivory Tower’, we subsequently learnt, nobody free to walk any step further until a new piece of music e xisted: This is how String Quartet No. 1 by Doctor Emanuel von Bock presented itself to the world. And ‘presented’ is the key word – it presented itself, and the medium, the instrument of this greater than human will, Doctor Bock in this case, busy writing the notes, was led from one vision into next – and thus many moths later, when Ladonians celebrate the yet lingering spring with small peregrine falcon breakfast eggs during their Deepest Winter Feast, when also many other things occur and among them our Old King Ladon, the Wise & Bearded rises from his grave and makes a number of young virgins pregnant like in the good old days when the world was pristine without degenerate religions and the fairest maidens of all lived in Ladonia, and some in Denmark and Livonia as well, while Russia did not yet exist and the Germans had not yet invented their famous stepwise Complicated Plans which always keep failing and thus finally earned them the honorary title ‘Emperors of the World of Clouds’ somewhere around 1910 in Monde Ancien days, when the French wanted to rule the Lands and the British the Seas, including India. Well, they are all together now in building the New Millennium Western Civilisation Soviet Union to be ruled only by multinational companies, where a little upstart will have an extremely slim chance ever to compete for a business order, and all the workers will be extensively curtailed by all sorts of bureaucracy so they have no chance to work too much or earn too much and thus ever to challenge the Privileged Big. Our only human chance is that the Big need to preserve some symbolic and almost illusory shadow of pseudo-democracy (but still!) in order to keep us lulled in sleep, which provides our only freedom to act – and this is the deepest reason why the peoples of the West are very cross with their brothers the Islamists, who are hitting at us with all their bombs, instead of hitting at the Big, thus helping the Big to cont rol us even more: Probably the poor, and I presume, misunderstood Islamists didn’t analyse the world situation deeply enough. Well, never mind, I just lost my thread, disguised we arrived at the border of Shangriii Laaa, and a String Quartet No. One came into Existence (i.e. the Universe – from Non-existence). It presented itself from some superior mind – it was very strangely obvious – like I was still checking whether I had enough sheet music paper, when suddenly, “it” said in my mind – “this is my final statement – here the work is over – sure you like it!?” – “and – thank you for your time and attention”.

Next a group of musicians arrived from the valley beneath and performed the quartet. Tears came in my eyes. They played so well, and so heavenly a piece of music I have never heard before, it was simply Divine. The first movement began with a D major Allegro theme that had arrived in my mind already when 17 years old and dreaming of a guitar sonata, which never materialised. This youthful theme was varied in many ways and then happened into chaos – the epitome of the 20th century at the developing edge of the world, I thought (all that delayed tabula rasa thing with the former One Man Hero Epoch that suddenly ended somewhere in the years around 1848, to be succeeded by the New Epoch of Synergism & Coming to First Grips with Complexity) – and then out of deepest chaos – the harmonic formula of the simple youthful theme was reborn, in a molto meno mosso fashion that made the musicians relax their facial muscles into something quit e jointly about them that seemed utterly loving and serene. The second movement was created around a pseudo gregorian Andante con moto theme in g sharp minor that came to me in 1995 while loosing an important love, onto which slipped a motif of great despair, from a hike incident with a big falling boulder that might seriously have injured my oldest daughter, the enormous scene with falling rubble, the dust, and then my deepest felt gratitude to the unknown when she woke up and I realised she would make it without sequaele, a theme like air filling your chest in C sharp major, which returns in both subsequent movents, in the last part of the third, which starts in an E major theme from the very time I bought my guitar 16 years old, and is the play of waves and ripples in a summer morning sea, to be followed by swimming very far out to what in Ladonia is known as ‘the fifth table’ and in A flat major, so turning around far out the playful theme returns, w hereafter the play rises to storm and roaring high brakers accompanied by base tremolos of murmuring rolling stones and pebbles, then evening scene, and the last movement in A flat major, an Adagio four part pseudo renaissance a capella song how the stars appear in an indigo blue sky one by one, and how they grow in numbers as the sky darkens, into an allegro vivace fuge, milling in uncountable numbers, and motifs so utterly other of strange beauty appear and among them the C sharp major theme of recognised grace and salvation, and so the very strange ending of violently milling stars against a background of Milky Way dust where G flat plays a major role in swirling star dust minor seconds as establishing the A flat summary of the whole enterprise and a Door to the Silence beyond us:

And the musicians rose to their feet, bowed, the border police applauded, our passports were stamped, our currency was recognised, and we were allowed to enter.

And finally, as always, Greetings to All Peoples in the Entire World,

from Doctor Emanuel von Bock,

Minister of Health in Ladonia.

The Minsiter of Health wishes you all a very healthy and prosperous winter. Always go with the light.

Emanuel von Bock, Minister of Health.

CONTACT INFORMATION

You can send us e-mail or use the adress below.

Vera Porad Falk, Executive Editor
Lars Vilks, Secretary of State of Ladonia

Lars Vilks
Box 1
S-260 43 Arild
Sweden

© Copyright 1996 - 2004 Lars Vilks, Vera Porad Falk and Arrive Inter Media
Created: 2004-04-19